I am a hater.

Who can deal with emotion? I can't. Can you?

I don't know and not sure about this but I can say I'm a terrible hater, currently. Everyone is stupid to me. They make mistake. I'll have no problem when they hit me with some major mistakes like giving me wrong answers for my questions or giving me a fail sets of codes for my tutorial.

But, these people.. Ah. They really start the fire and do the evil laugh.

I don't know.

I just don't know.

Should I just ignore them or what? I can't ignore stupid people. They really need to be fixed, man. I am stupid too but I know my limits. What can replace the word 'stupid'? Stereotypical bastard.
How does it feel, when you're in this conversation, which consists of 4 to 5 persons. They started to laugh at... I don't know. A joke? But I don't think that's a joke, dude seriously? I don't feel like want to laugh as hard as they enjoy the farts while laughing.

And you know, there will be this important character, in everything I do and everywhere I go.
He gets hyper when he sees girls. Especially a girl with a tight tanktop with a short skirts and that slow-kind of smile and that..you know..that baby-crying when she gets teased? Fuck off. He gets hyper instantly, man. Sakai. And right after that girl leaves, he acts normal. I think a guy like that should destruct himself right in the middle of a gunfight. As soon as possible if can.

Nah, I'm right. I am a hater. Fuck me. Goodnight.

Don't Stay Home

Why would I stay at home when this turns me on all the time. Damn it, KE.

25th July 2013 : Carpooling #2

Unfortunately, I didn't go to class. I, therefore, have no true story to tell. Haha

24th July 2013 : Carpooling #1

I drew a norm on a piece of a paper. That paper does not exist. 

Dude. Today was normal. It flows... nahhhh not perfectly or shits, just normal. 

I had an eight-to-five class schedule today. I can say it was tiring but I saw something that made me think for few seconds : Are you sure you're tired? of these classes? sitting in an air-conditioned room.. with comfortable chairs and had fun with your Slender?

Yea. I asked myself these question and blinked. Whoa. That was holy intense, man. 

Straight to the point. I woke up at 5 freaking cold morning today. Due to some technical difficulties. Squeak. Squawk. Squeal. Grind. It's the sound of brakes going bad! But, seriously. It really needs a lot of cash to get over this problem, instantly. So we decided to carpool. Luckily our friend, Baw, is a help-master. I couldn't thank him in any way. Saying 'thanks' is the only thing I can honestly give in return. 

Sorry, but here's a funny story about few Malaysian. I am not sure about the peninsula, but most of us Sarawakian, pronounce Thank You or Thanks in this some kind of hillarious way. It sounds like this, man. "Teng-Q". Whatever, back to my story.

Carpool.

So, since I had class at 8 A.M and their working hours started 1 hour earlier than usual due to Ramadan, which had to be at 6 A.M, I had to drop them at their workplace (oh, yeah..they work at the same company) and had to wait for two hours for college. You get it, I hope. It's two damn hours. I don't think I can go back home and take any kind of beautiful nap. The distance of my house to my campus, empty wallet, running out of fuels. That's somehow terrifying. Please agree.

I had no options so I went to this shop lot nearby and listened to Rob Stewart for few minutes and turn off the engine and I had no idea what the hell I was doing just now. But time flies, maniacs. 

I went to my college at 7:45 A.M. Gave the car the most sheltered space, next to the shrubs and get the hell out of the car. I sighed. I know I wasn't suppose to do so. But I didn't give a fuck about that, I sighed badly. Sleepy, lazy, hungry. 

But suddenly...

There's a construction site somewhere opposite my college. There were sooooooo many workers, on the rooftops, hit by the direct sunlight, no shelter, no shrubs, but a safety helmet.

The thing that made me sad is... I am not sure of how many children they have, and bills and shits. I didn't mean that those are poor workers, it's just that... I am not suppose to complain about my life. I have chairs, desks, computers, air-conditioned room, friends to play counter-strike with, etc. 

But them? 

Ted Mosby's witfe.

I have spent too much time, of my life.. Just to wait for this lady to appear on my screen. 

The Mother. Well done, Ted. After bangin' so many chicks from the McClaren. Hah

Bushy, Tiny Masters Of Today

Behind her chary-looking performance, there are words she's trying to tell the world. Instead of getting hyper on stage she accidentally decided to just stand on her quiet feet and speak out. I found this video on youtube while I was watching The Gits. As usual, I ventured to related links on the sidebar and I found this and I googled them up. 

// Tiny Master of Today

Consists of two siblings Ivan(age 13) & Ada(age 11). Bushy, one of their track from the Bang Bang Boom Cake is a song obviously about how they dislike the president 'bushy'. 

Lyric :

Tell you what your worth to me 
A little less than a penny 
All my friends agree with me 
You’re the worst president Bushy 
Lying to the people and they don’t care 
Cos you’re the one with pink underwear 
Talk to the government and they agree 
You’re the worst president Bushy

Worthless denial and shake one's head

Both sides are denying. 

How can by saying "I'm fine" can extend the whole story? Even it only takes 2 awkward seconds to say that.

It all started on a quiet and cold night, drizzly rain wetting the roof of the apartment. She could hear the sound of the rain tapping the roof clearly. They'll get bored every minute, every minute which means they'll easily get bored no matter what.

But then, all they could do is just sit down on that old smelly couch and patiently wait for the day to end.

Yesterday ends with distress.

She walked that path and regret but by the time she regrets, he came. He turned on the signal light instead, then she realized that path she walked is already dead.

How I deal with people around me

I, despite living with someone who is not at home during lunch, able to have lunch by myself--currently.

That isn't an achievement. I know.. My point is, sometimes being alone is not as hard as you imagined. It only requires some happy messages to reach your brain and make it happen. 

A loner is a sad person? No. Some people like to be alone. Some people don't. Some people want to be alone. Some people don't. There are so many different behaviour & temperament that surround us. 

I (somehow) found it very hard-to-get periodically. It depends on how people expose that feeling. Either showing me their angry faces, or by a serious implication to my ... to my... I don't know. Maybe to my career or else? Or sarcastically make me a God. 

You know? Too much.
Sometimes we can't impeccably take what they give; until we can indirectly see what they are attempting to convey.

That's how I deal with people. Not in the past.

Well sometimes, a very stupid thing can ruinned your whole day. And the most stupid part is when you know that stupid thing, is a technical effect of yourself talking about your stupid life.

Note : Don't be stupid.

A place that is sick at heart

When a place releases loud noises like laughter and shits, that place may seem happy. I immaculately believe that those loud noises may create somekind of a miniature silhoutte in my head and jump out of my eyes; that place.. is full of disconsolation. 

It is. 

The Small Apartment

Remember about the small apartment I live in? I talked about, recently? 

I'm moving out this September. This space is bittersweet. There are happy and unhappy things revolved around here, at the same time. But the thing I didn't noticed about this house is .. It rebounds my life from miserable to unruffled. My mistakes maul my presence today but this house,somehow, tells me to move on.

Can you imagine how a weak, childish, boyish, easy-exasperate lady.. turned into an unsophisticated person? You may retort with a short opinion.

Because mindfuck that's why.

It feels horrible when the night before I fell asleep, I suddenly thought of this situation :

I have a family which consists of me, a sister, a quiet father and a loud mother. I do have a brother. He was adopted, many years ago before I was even born. He's really good. Really good in giving us troubles and hard times. Which obviously makes each and everyone of us dislikes him. But God only knows, somewhere deep down in our heart, we love him. We just don't expose that feeling, physically.
My family never took a family portrait, you know, by what I am saying here, a family portrait which clearly means me, my sister and my mom and dad, aren't in the picture TOGETHER.

Well, here's the story about what I had reflected in my mind that night.

IF *cough*

If one day, we decide to take a photo of our family, my mom and my sister don't want the 'brother' to be in the photo, I will be his stupid hero. I will confront both my mom and sister and tell them not to do so. I will tell them no matter what happened, he is still a part of the family. (ah come on this sounds really stupid, I really hope that you still remember that THIS is about my thoughts the night before I fell asleep, please read the first sentence of this post. Just in case I sound like I am not who I am.. blehh I am not a nice lady though)

I'm going to skip this to the end.

So, we'll have a desperate piece of a family portrait. Finally.

The end. 

*cough slowly*

Back to the night before I fell asleep. I was on my bed and giggled about that story I visualized few minutes before I fell asleep. After a few minutes, probably a few hours, I had a BAD(when I capitalize a letter that means it is a SERIOUS shit) BAD BAD dream. I dreamnt about my brother tried to strangle me and watch me die in his hands,dude..not arms. If I'm not mistaken, he wore white gloves.

? 

Man, I was trying to be nice. That is so opposite. Why?!

photo taken at : http://ironlungpv.bandcamp.com/album/white-glove-test-lp-cd

BECAUSE MINDFUCK THAT'S WHY.